


Dragons & Dice

by I_Snort_Matcha



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, D&D, Dungeons & Dragons References, Jean and Eren are best friends, Jean has a crush on Armin, Lots of Cursing, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Slight pining, brief mention of ereri, jean can't play dungeons and dragons, sassy armin, writer has never played D&D
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-07 20:58:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20982275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_Snort_Matcha/pseuds/I_Snort_Matcha
Summary: Jean is dragged along to play Dungeons & Dragons.





	Dragons & Dice

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ZWorld](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZWorld/gifts).

> Happy birthday, Roxi!!!!!  
Dude I love you so much! I've had this idea for weeks and I hope you like it! It's stupid and short and has a dumb quick ending but Jean and Armin are hard to fucking write!!! Shows how much I love you, beech.

Wait till everyone finds out that all star Jean Kirschtein Was sitting in some basement playing dungeons and dragons. It wasn't like he wanted to go! He did everything he could to back out of going! Especially when he had the biggest crush on the host, something that was already overwhelming in school, now worse when he sat beside him and tried to play this game. He really really did try to get out of it. But in comes Eren Jeager, 'the new kid' and Jean's long time childhood friend, eager to make new friends and drag Jean along with him.   
  
Eren and Jean grew up on the same block, best friends practically since birth. Though with how much they fought (and called each other names) you wouldn't think they were as close as they were. They were like brothers, and the two were devastated when they learned Eren had to attend a different school.   
  
It was so stupid, something to do with 'city lines' and Eren being _just past_ the boarder to be allowed to attend Jean's school. So, they unfortunately had to suffer through their classes without each other, which was terrible as children but got easier as they moved into their teen years.   
  
But then suddenly everything changed.   
  
Rules were adjusted, lines were moved, and now Eren was able to go to the same school as Jean. Jean was super pumped for that, grinning as he drove him and Eren to their first day of class together. As seniors, finally!   
  
However, he didn't expect Eren to be so god damn friendly.   
  
"Dungeons and dragons?!?" Jean scoffed at their lunch table, shoving away some kind of fucking manual sheet away from his face. The font cover of it looked like something straight out of the 80s, a fucking dragon standing before a group a fighters ready to attack.   
  
"Hell yeah!" Eren shoved the small booklet back into Jean's face. "We're playing at Armin's place Friday night!"   
  
Jean scowled, "_Armin Artlet_? He's a fucking nerd!" It was what he always said whenever that little blonde was mentioned. He wasn’t about to go telling everyone that he was gay and so into Armin that it fucking hurt. Smart, handsome, and so fucking sweet it made him weak in the knees.  
  
"Oh, fuck you," Eren spat out. "Armin is fucking cool and we're going to play _mother fucking_ dungeon's and dragons with him."   
  
"No," Jean replied. "Fuck _you. _I'm not going to some fucking dork’s place to play some nerdy stupid game." He looked away from Eren's intense gaze. "Besides I have plans already," he lied.   
  
Eren slammed his hands down onto the table, making Jean jump from the force of it. "You know damn well you _plans_ are jerking off all night and eating corn dogs." Jean flushed, it was true, minus the corn dogs. He didn't even like corn dogs. "We're going and that's final."   
  
And that's how Jean found himself in fucking Armin Artlet's basemen, his letter-men jacket zipped up and keeping him warm in the cold ass basement.   
  
"So uh," Jean was flipping through his character sheets, something that Eren made up for him. A drunken wizard apparently, he thought it would be funny. "I'll just..," he paused, three pairs of eyes on him waiting for him to make the next move. "_Use my sword?"   
  
_"_Oh my God, no_!" Eren screamed out in frustration, pulling at his hair in agony. "You _stupid_ son of a bitch!"   
  
"What!? What did I do now!?"   
  
Their 'dungeon master', or Bert, smiled to himself before speaking. "Your iron is useless against the White Balverine, he deals 30 damage to you and 15 to your teammates."   
  
"Christ," Armin muttered to himself and reached for the dice. "I knew you were stupid but I didn't know you were this fucking dumb. Pretty and dumb, how typical"   
  
Jean huffed, embarrassed from the rude compliment, "Oh fuck you, Armin. You don't even know me." But he wished he did.   
  
"I've sat next to you in at least one class every year since kindergarten, I'm pretty sure I know a meathead when I see one. Making you a wizard was a mistake. Wizards rely on their intelligence," Armin paused and pursed his lips. "Which you are clearly lacking."  
  
"Oh yeah, I'm a complete fucking idiot because I don't know how to play some stupid ass game."   
  
"Dude," Eren cut in, smacking Jean's arm. "You're a wizard that fucking shoots silver. _SILVER. _You could have killed that Balverine in one hit!"   
  
"Well how the hell was I supposed to know that?!"   
  
"What wizard uses a _fucking_ sword?" Armin asked with a roll of his eyes. "A Balverine is _werewolf. _You need a silver sword to kill it."   
  
"Eren was the one who gave the wizard a sword!" They both shrugged at him "Well fuck both of you for not telling me that."   
  
"Armin, you're up," Bert said.   
  
The blonde rolled his dice, smiling to himself before making his next move. "I use teleportation to send Jean back to the dry lands."   
  
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" 

Every Friday night, from that night on, Jean was pouting next to Eren and Armin while they played together. Sometimes Eren's boyfriend would sit in, making awkward shit jokes and slicing through monsters like it was a fucking walk in the park. Jean loved when Levi played with them, because it meant that they would actually get through most of the game with relative ease. Plus, the guys were actually a little nicer to him when Levi was around. Probably because the college student liked to _teach him how to fucking play_. Unlike Armin and Eren.   
  
Unfortunately, Levi wasn't there tonight.   
  
Which meant the boys were letting out all their frustrations on him.   
  
"Jean, it's a dragon. _Literally_ a dragon," Eren was pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. It's not his fault he didn't know how the play the damn game!! "You have to do _something_."   
  
"I don't know what to fucking do!" Jean shouted back, once again going back to his character sheets to try and figure out what the fuck to do. He was a dwarf now, specializing in close combat, how the fuck was he supposed to kill a beast 10 stories high!? "What do I do!?"   
  
"Oh my God," Armin groaned. "Do something! Anything!"   
  
"Like what!?"   
  
"You suck dick at this!" Eren added and stood up from his seat to storm over to the fridge. Like he needed another drink filled with fucking caffeine.  
  
"You know what!?" Jean grabbed his character sheets and threw them at Eren, nailing him in the back. "Fuck you!"   
  
"Hey, asshole!" Eren grabbed the sheets from the ground."I worked hard on that!"   
  
"Fuck you!" Jean shouted again and pointed to Eren, his finger moving to point at Armin. "Fuck you!" Then his finger moved to Bert who was staring at him with wide eyes. "And fuck you!"   
  
Jean jumped up from his seat, not even flinching as it fell to the floor behind him, and grabbed for the dice. "I'm gonna fuck that dragon!"   
  
Eren choked on his drink, spitting it out all over his shirt.   
  
"What?" Armin hissed out.   
  
"I'm fuckin it," Jean said, glaring at Bert with pure determination. "I'm gonna fuck that dragon."   
  
"Alright," Bert shrugged. "Roll for persuasion."   
  
“Fine!” Whatever the fuck that meant.  
  
Jean shook the die with a vengeance, wishing he could crush the stupid fucking thing in his grip. He threw it down onto the table, and watched it jump around the board.   
  
There was a collective gasp from the three others as they saw the number the die landed on.   
  
"What?" Jean asked, looking around him and seeing three pairs of jaws hanging wide open. "Is that bad?"   
  
“Jean..,” Eren shook his head, astonished. “You just rolled a natural 20.”   
  
“What the fuck does that mean?”   
  
No one answered, all three of them just shaking their heads. After a few beats, Bert finally spoke up.   
  
“Okay,” He sighed. “So, how do you want to do this?”   
  
“What do you mean?” Jean asked. At least they weren’t shouting at him anymore.   
  
“You just rolled the highest you could,” Bert explained with a huge sigh. “It means I have to let you fuck the dragon.”   
  
“I can’t fucking believe this,” Armin threw his head back, his hands coming up to rub over his face. “I cannot fucking believe this. Why does the pretty one get all the luck?”   
  
“I have to fuck the dragon,” Jean said slowly, confused as fuck. “Look, I was just pissed off when I said that-”   
  
“You’re gonna fuck that dragon, Jean,” Eren said with a laugh. “And you’re gonna fuckin like it.”   
  
“Fuck,” Jean sighed and picked his seat back up so he could sit in it again. “A dwarf and a tall ass dragon? It’s a lot like you and Levi.”   
  
Armin wheezed beside him while Eren snorted and said, “You’re lucky Levi isn’t here.”   
  
“Alright,” Jean sat up straight, looking across the table to the DM. “Is this a girl or boy dragon?”   
  
“Boy,” It was said in unison from everyone but Jean.   
  
“OH COME ON!” Jean groaned. “I don’t want to fuck a boy dragon!”   
  
“Wait,” Armin tilted his head. “I thought you were gay.”   
  
“No! What?! No,” Jean defended a little too strongly. “Not gay. At all.”   
  
“Really?” Eren asked and sat down in his seat, seemingly uncaring of his damp shirt.   
  
“You check out my ass an awful lot for someone who’s ‘straight,’” Armin added with a smirk.   
  
Ah. So Armin did catch him doing that.   
  
“Shut up,” Jean mumbled. “Let me focus.”   
  
“It’s not that hard,” Eren offered. “You just stick your dick up it’s ass.”   
  
Armin cringed, “What, with no prep? What are you? A fucking masochist?”   
  
Eren blushed and looked away, sipping his soda without replying.   
  
“Look,” Armin moved his chair closer to Jean. “If you fuck the dragon nicely, Eren and I can try to escape safely. Have you ever fucked anyone?”   
  
Jean chewed his lip and shook his head, the virgin quarterback, he would be teased everyday if that ever got out.   
  
Armin hummed, smiling to himself, “Cute.”   
  
Jean shoved him away, when did he get so close?   
  
“Do you want me to show you?” Armin asked, his hand coming to rest on Jean’s upper thigh.   
  
Eren and Bert shared a look, both standing up a second later. “We’re gonna order pizza,” Eren said as they walked away.   
  
“We’ll work out the dragon details after some food,” Bert added, both of them going upstairs and out of view.   
  
“I thought you didn’t like me,” Jean breathed out, Armin’s hand was slowly creeping up his thigh and toward his groin.   
  
“I never said that,” His breath swept across Jean’s neck. “Do you like me?”   
  
Jean cleared his throat, pulling away from the blonde. “I-” He paused, trying to collect his words. “You’re really.. really.. Cute,” Jean sighed and stood up, his hands raking through his hair.   
  
“Like really cute,” He added. “I can’t even think when I’m around you. I hate that you sit next to me in class because I just keep fucking looking at you! Maybe I would actually be good at this stupid game if you weren’t here,” He said with a laugh.   
  
“Why didn't you say anything?” Armin asked and crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t exactly hide how gay I am.”   
  
“My parents would kill me,” Jean sighed and dropped himself into Bert’s seat. “Yeah, I’m gay. Whatever.”   
  
Armin smiled, so sweet, Jean felt like it would kill him, “I won’t tell anyone.”  
  
Jean narrowed his eyes at him, “You already told everyone in school that I had a pair of panties in my locker. I can’t exactly trust you.”   
  
He rolled his eyes, “That was before we were friends.” Armin took a breath to continue but stopped for a second first, “Wait, why did you have those panties.”   
  
Jean dropped his head onto the table, “I like to wear them, shut up.”   
  
“Oh god,” Armin gigged, his hands going over his lips. “You’re a total bottom!”   
  
“Tops can wear panties!” Jean shouted, his head lifting from the table to glare at Armin.   
  
Only when he lifted his head he was met with a pair of lips pressing softly onto his own. It lasted just a second, no time at all to Jean, but it was enough to have his heart racing and his chest to swell with pure happiness.   
  
“You’re sweet,” Armin tapped the tip of Jean’s nose. “Now sit up, we’re going to figure out how you’ll fuck this dragon.”   
  
“You gonna reward me when you and Eren escape?” Jean teased and leaned toward Armin, mostly hoping for another kiss.   
  
“Yep,” Armin nodded and went back to his seat. “I’ll suck you dick.”   
  
“Wait, what?!”   


**Author's Note:**

> Jean fucked the dragon, Armin and Eren escape, and then Jean got his dick sucked.


End file.
